Finally – FINALLY – I’ve found an ob/gyn who doesn’t think I’m an easily-dismissable hysterical woman! He’s taking my religious views on birth control seriously; he’s taking my endometrios pain seriously; he’s taking my infertility seriously.
He’s taking me so seriously that he finally – FINALLY – started me on Clomid! Today is Day One for the Clomid – finally, after three years, we’re starting on the first step of fertility treatments. This may be as far as we go, but at least we will have tried. I’m so thrilled to finally see a doctor who didn’t suggest immediate IVF or immediate Lupron use. I’m sure both are effective as far as that goes, for either fertility or treatment of endometriosis, but I’m not comfortable with either. Finally, I’m seeing a doctor who gets that, and who is willing to start out with a much more conservative treatment option.
He’s also wiling to manage the endo pain in the meantime, which is awesome because it shows that he doesn’t think I’m a hypochondriac. I’m particularly grateful for his attitude today, when I’m writing this supine in my bed clutching the heating pad and trying not to throw up from the pain of menstrual cramps. Pain medication to manage legitimate pain is something I am so, so grateful for this week.
It’s incredible how much better my depression is simply because I finally found a doctor who believes me. I’d been so anxious about every doctor’s appointment for more than two years now; I was losing faith in all medical professionals, none of whom seemed like they actually wanted to help me. Having a doctor really listen to what I’ve been through has lightened the burden. It’s amazing, isn’t it, how linked all of these issues are? My mental health is tied into my ability to take care of my physical health, which is tied into finding a doctor who doesn’t think my mental health is completely broken. It’s all linked together. Having a doctor who believes me and takes me seriously is validating, and validation is the best form of encouragement I can receive right now.
It’s fitting for Thanksgiving week that I can be thankful for finally feeling validated, for finally starting fertility treatments, and finally starting the escape from this spiral of depression and anxiety and infertility and pain.
So – here’s to an amazing husband, a caring doctor, and the possibility of a future family!